"Sticks and stones will hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me."
What a blatant lie we teach our children. Words create a deeper and longer lasting pain than many physical injuries. Why do our schools and parenting programs continue to tell children to "turn the other cheek" to a bully? Bullying is not based on the victim's behavior. Bullies, like rapists, choose victims who are powerless to stop them. Victims are mostly individuals who will not speak up for fear of retribution, or fear of not being listened to.
When a child tells a bully that their words hurt the child's feelings... that doesn't stop bullying; because bullys want to see their victims suffer. Bullys are lacking in empathy.
Children begin their lives as clean slates. Some are happier than others, some are clingier, but all want love and affection. How is it that some become aggressive, physically or verbally, with other children? Is there a lack of responsibility in their behavior? Some bullying experts believe that only when people are willing to take responsibility for past behavior will they be able to change future behavior.
This website will (eventually) address these and other questions as well as offering suggestions for further reading.
- Tamra Weber Zehner
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